Soul Love

Mother's Day

I had a fantastic Mother's Day!!  Not only did I get spoiled with a new computer, but Graham and the girls took me to a fabulous brunch at Jul's in Tyler.  It was simply outstanding.  I didn't want to get full! :) Y'all know what I mean?  The food was that good!

 the three beauties that made me a momma

What a difference a year makes...

 Joy was 6 days old last Mother's Day.

Also, I wanted to share some old pics of my momma and me...

Love you, Mom!

2013 Top Ten

Recently, I was glancing over my blog stats for 2013 and decided to compile a top ten list of your favorite posts of the year.  Here goes...

TEN

Makeshift Office:  I turned a small portion of our master closet into an office nook for Graham.

NINE

 Kelsey + Josh:  a mini photo-shoot with my sister and bro-in-law

EIGHT

What's the Fuss all About:  voicing my frustrations with the "Mommy Wars" including my take on Babywise

SEVEN

To Each of My Girls:  a letter to each of my babies

SIX

 Maternity Photos:  photos from my maternity shoot with my friend and amazing photographer, Ashley

FIVE

$6 Chair Makeover: a Goodwill chair makeover

FOUR

She's Here:  our sweet little Joy Tatum's arrival

THREE

Her Nursery: pictures of Joy's room

TWO

Christmas Home Tour: 2013 Christmas Home Tour link-up

ONE

31 Days of Balance as a Homeschool Mom: a series in which I wrote a post a day for the month of October on finding balance as a homeschool mom

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I look forward to another year of blogging and connecting.  My SIXTH year! Thanks for reading, y'all!

Say Goodnight

My recent FB status update:

AG: Mom, I haaaaaate eight o'clock.
Me: I looooove it!!!!
AG: That's mean.

By the way, I got about 60 "likes" from mostly mommas.  Apparently, y'all know the feeling!

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For us, staying balanced equals having a consistent bedtime routine.

Unless there are special circumstances, we stick to our eight o'clock lights-out policy.  We've had to get pretty technical, too--no whispering, no getting up, no water, no questions!  I guess that sounds pretty harsh, but our girls are known to push the envelope if given an inch a millimeter.  Before we know it, it's 9:30 and they are still awake.  In turn, we've been forced to become the "bedtime Nazis". By 8 o'clock, we've read a chapter of our book, had tons of kisses and hugs, went potty half a dozen times, brushed teeth, and said our prayers.

 

My blessings bathed and ready for bed!

 

AG reading in bed while Edy snoozes.

 

 

I know I don't need to say how much we adore our girls, but at 8 o'clock after a long day of child-rearing, it's nice to sit down with Graham in the living room and unwind.

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 Up next: I hate the phrase "Me Time"

For more posts in this series, 31 Days of Balance as a Homeschool Mom, click HERE.

Dirty Laundry

Laundry is a big fat pain in the butt, but it has to be done.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!  You with me! Just as I'm finished, I have more in the hamper within minutes.  For me, doing laundry every day just doesn't work!  I would rather have designated times that work best for us.  Monday and Fridays are laundry days--that's how I balance it! 

I'm always looking for ways to include my girls in household chores that are age appropriate and don't violate child-labor laws.  It's a joke.  You can laugh!  Granted, it's much easier if I just do stuff myself, but that wouldn't be good for them, right? 

So the girls help how?  They can't fold well enough yet, but they can sure contribute. 

I dump all of the laundry in the center of the living room floor and they separate it into little piles according to its owner.  It's actually very helpful, plus it gets them involved.

 the laundry fairies

Tell me why the only man in the house has the biggest pile?

I'm always looking for laundry tips/tricks.  Whatcha got?  How do you involve your kids in household chores?

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Up next: A Day in the Life {Monday}

For more posts in this series, 31 Days of Balance as a Homeschool Mom, click HERE.

bedtime

Ahh...bedtime--an end to another day.  As a parent, bedtime can be a glorious time--just being honest.  It's a time for us to talk uninterrupted, it's a time of quiet, it's a time of peace and relaxation.  Umm...it's a time of empty threats, "Girls, quit talking and go to bed or..." It's a time to "let it slide" and listen from a distance at the giggles trailing in from their bedroom. It's a time of thankfulness--thankfulness to our Lord for the three precious gifts we are blessed to tuck safely into bed each night.

 

 

I'll cherish bedtime--the snuggles with my clean babies, the mint-y fresh kisses, and the late night glances of three healthy girls sleeping peacefully in their cozy beds.

Our Joy...His Glory 

baby dedication

Sunday was our baby dedication service at church. Graham and I were so thankful to be a part of this special service by bringing our little Joy before the church and publicly committing to love her through praying for her and training her up in the ways of the Lord.  During this service, the church also committed to pray for our family as we humbly take on the task of raising this special gift the Lord has given us. 

 

 

 

I can't help but be reminded of Hannah when I think of my children.  They are blessings and I am so very humbled and thankful that the Lord has entrusted them to me.

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD. I Samuel 1:27-28

Check out the big sisters' dedication services:
AG's baby dedicaiton and Edy's baby dedication

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to our wonderful dads...

{Graham and his daddy}

{my daddy and me}

We love both of you SO much!  Have a wonderful Father's Day!

What's the Fuss All About?

It's no secret that we have been fans of the ever controversial book On Becoming Babywise:  Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep.

Here's how it began for us...
When we were weekend house parents at a home for men with mental disabilities, we became really close with the live-in house parents.  They had just become parents of their own and were using Babywise (BW) methods with their newborn.  We were intrigued and decided to check it out when we had kids.  Fast forward 4 years and we were about to embark on the biggest task of our married life--parenthood.  We picked up our copy of BW and began to read, study, and plan.

This post is not about how wonderful BW is or how we have unlocked the key to perfect parenting--trust me, we haven't.  It's more about what BW is and is not and how the misconceptions, controversies, false-truths, and exaggerations paint parents that practice its principles as lunatics.  For the record, I just wanted to give our side of the story because #1) we have read the book and #2) we aren't crazies for practicing some of the principles found in BW.


What sparked this post...
A few weeks ago, I posted a pic of the cover of BW on Instagram with the hashtag #babywise.  I was instantly judged--instantly!  I received a comment about how BW is a terrible book, how the APA is speaking out against it, and I was given a link to a much better book to aid me in my parenting.   I thought about leaving well enough alone, but instead typed out a response.  I was careful with my words, but instead of turning a blind eye to the comment I decided to speak up about my convictions. Several weeks later I got another comment in the form of a link.  I clicked over and couldn't believe my eyes:  people burning copies of BW and calling parents that practice its principles "sociopaths that shouldn't be allowed to be parents".  This time I typed up my response, but because it was less than kind and pretty much accusatory, I deleted it before I sent it.  Hmm...can't say it didn't help me feel a little better though. 

What is Babywise?:
*It's mostly about giving your child full-feedings when it's time to eat instead of snacking and never having a full belly.  Full-feedings, especially when breastfeeding, are important because the good, fatty milk comes along after the less-filling milk produced at the beginning of each feeding.
*It's about parent-directed parenting--parents calling the shots instead of baby.

What Babywise is not:
*It's not a "cry it out" method.  Typically, I haven't had to let any of my babies "cry it out".  In fact, with full tummies, clean diapers, and adequate wake-time, they are pretty content when it's time for bed.  Are there exceptions?  You betcha. 
*It's not a strict-scheduling system.  If my baby is hungry, guess what?  I feed her.  I don't have to "watch the clock" to determine the next feeding time.  My babies have generally let me know when it was time to feed; however, with full-feedings at every feed time it does work out that baby is hungry (at least in the beginning) every 3 hours or so.
*It's not and unloving approach.  I would even go as far to say that it's an extremely loving approach. It takes the pressure off of the baby to tell the parent all of her needs and allows the baby to be the baby and the parent to be the parent.

There are so many other arguments for what BW is or isn't--whether the authors are doctors and Christians, etc.  Honestly, though we like books authored by Christians, this wasn't the reason we chose to read and practice BW.  Frankly, we just resonated with the material and wanted to give it a try.

AG began to sleep through the night (6-7 uninterrupted hours of sleep on a consistent basis) at 8 weeks and Edy at 7 weeks.  I do not believe that they would have done this on their own had I not tried so hard to give them full-feedings and adequate wake time. Some have suggested that I have "good babies"  and I'm sure that particular statement isn't meant as an insult; however, it was quite difficult in the beginning to keep baby awake to feed fully and keep awake for short periods without overstimulating.  It was a big chore, but I think it helped in the end.  Currently, we are in the middle of this hard process.  Making sure Joy has full-feedings and is getting a little (not a lot) of wake time has proved difficult once again.  She has fallen (with our help) into a pattern of feeding every three hours, but we have to work to keep her awake for limited periods throughout the day. It's not just that we have "good babies" (although I don't rule out temperament), we've parented them instead of letting them rule us. Although I've practiced BW methods with my first two children and so far with Joy, I know that every child and situation is different.  My expectations are realistic.

*I'm in no way suggesting that if one chooses not to use the principles laid out in BW that her child will not sleep through the night and will be a riot until turning five.  Pu-leez!  There are countless parents that have never even heard of BW and their children are great sleepers, eaters, etc.  Kudos to them.  I'm totally aware that this isn't the only model for forming healthy eating and sleeping patterns in infants. I'm also not suggesting that Graham and I have it nailed.  We don't!  We are just trying to do the best we can.  Is that so bad?

I'm confident that I'll have judgementors (not a word, but it works here) after this post.  I'm sure that there are many that support the APA's opinions that BW infants "fail to thrive", are "early-weaners", and cause "limited milk supply in mothers", but NONE of those accusations have proven true for our children or me. I'm not convinced.  I'm sticking to my methods and convictions (even apart from BW methods). 

We aren't "by the book" parents.  I repeat, "we aren't 'by the book' parents".  We are parents, though. And we choose to call the shots instead of the baby.  Isn't that how it's intended to work?  That means, we make the ultimate decisions. I can tell you for certain that my babies have never missed a meal, they have never gone hours with empty tummies because the clock says it's not time to eat, and they have never been forced (in early infancy) to "cry it out" because it is bedtime.

There you have it.  I've said my piece. I hope I shed a little light on what BW is and isn't and maybe even clarified a few things for some of those with doubts.

Happy Mother's Day

{Graham and his momma}

{my momma and me}

We love you both SO much!  Have a wonderful Mother's Day!

eating.my.words.

Y'all ready for this...?????

This is me....EATING MY WORDS.

I swore up and down that I would NEVER...ever... ever... drive a mini-van.  And...here I am...embracing it! :)

For about a year, we have been weighing the options (suv/minivan), checking prices, contemplating, etc.  At the beginning of the week, I found a deal that we just couldn't pass up, so I called to check it out.  Next thing I know, I'm headed down to Livingston, TX to do some negotiating--that I did.  I'm confident that I got a bargain of a deal so I'm okay with saying,  I'm the proud owner of a new-to-me Honda Odyssey!   We have been so extremely pleased with our Accord (knock on wood) so we kept it and traded Graham's car.  #hondasnobs

Also on the list of things I said I would never do:

*home school

*live in the country

*marry a pastor

*be a stay-at-home-mom (long time ago before I had children of my own)

*breastfeed

*read The Hunger Games and Twilight series

*live in a small town again

*let my kids watch The Wiggles or Barney (again, this was said before I had children)

*give my children double names

I'm sure there are many more times I've eaten my words, but that's all I can come up with for now. (Graham will be sure to come up with some more.)

And by the way, the kids LOVE it.   They are still too young to care what their mom drives.

List of things I will never do:

*wear "mom jeans"

Potty Pics

 

Potty Training {boot camp}

***This is my family blog...my digital  scrapbook of sorts.  Sooooo....this post has lots of words like poopy, peepee, potty, tinkle, panties, etc.  Read it if you want--or not. You've been warned!***

Monday, I started potty training Edy Rose.  Boy, oh boy--has it been a doosey! I've read some articles on potty training and have kinda created my own potty training "boot camp" method.  It worked wonderfully with AG, but I've tried real hard not to compare her experience to Edy's--that's a tough thing to do. 

DAY 1:  NO SUCCESS....none, nothing, nada.  I felt so defeated.

I let her run around naked all day (panties and/or pull-ups can be confusing).  She literally held in her pee and poop most of the day.  She had a small accident outside (yes, she was completely naked except for her flip-flops! #countrylife) At one point, I demonstrated peepeeing on the potty.  Edy's response, "YAY! good job, Mommy!  You're potty-trained!"

At nap time and bedtime, she let it all out and soaked her pull-up.

DAY 2:  Same story for most of the day.  After nap, I decided to pump her FULL of fluids.  At 5:10 PM, Graham called me (I was at Bible Study) to tell me we had pee!  I was so excited even though my sweet husband took all of the credit for her success!  He called me about 30 minutes later to tell me that she asked to go potty and peepee'd again. And...again!  WOW!!!

Look at my big girl...drinking lots and lots of Sprite.

Day 3:  WHAT A GREAT DAY!  We've officially turned the corner.  Not only has she told me that she needs to peepee, she's also gone poop several times.  She said, "Mama, I poopoo'd BIG TIME!"  And, she wasn't lyin'!

***Y'all can say a big thank-you to yours truly.  I refrained from taking a pic of the BIG poopoos, even though I was tempted.  I'm just so proud of my "big" little girl!***

Here's the potty chart at 9:15 AM.

And, here's the potty chart at 11:00 AM.  Look at all of that success (the pony stickers represent BIG poops)!

And, for those family members that want to take a walk down memory lane, here are the posts documenting AG's potty-training days: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, and more.

Welp, it looks like we will be having a pOtTy PaRtY tomorrow night to celebrate Edy's success!

Let Me Introduce You...

...to Edy's friends

from left to right:
Bardey (Barney), Monk (Monkey), Baby Pony (My Little Pony), Warry (Larry), Dordee (Dora)

Every night, Edy sleeps with  these guys.  If I accidentally leave one in the basket, she reminds me.  It's not bedtime without them.

***By the way, I took down the baby bed.  Edy is officially sleeping in her "big girl" bed and doing a great job.  We will hit the ground running on Monday for "Potty Training Boot Camp".  Ch-ch-ch-changes are a comin'!***

Our Little Sponge

AG is at that age where she can hear something one or two times and remember it. She can sing songs all the way through, memorize lines in a movie, quote nursery rhymes, and even recite The Pledge of Allegiance. She's our little sponge. Now is the time for her to learn something of eternal significance. Catechisms are a great way for her to internalize sound doctrine at a young age. We like to call it Q & A Christianity. It is important to us that our kids have a good foundation and understand what scripture teaches.

Here are the first ten questions and answers that AG knows so far:

1Q. Who made you?
1A. God

2Q. What else did God make?
2A. God made everything.

3Q. Why did God make you and all things?
3A. For His glory

4Q. Why should you glorify God?
4A. Because He loves me and takes care of me.

5Q. How do you glorify God?
5A. By loving Him and doing what He commands.

6Q. How many gods are there?
6A. There is only one God.

7Q. How many persons does one God exist?
7A. In three persons.

8Q. Who are they?
8A. The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit

9Q. What is God?
9A. God is Spirit (John 4:24) and has not a body like men.

10Q. Where is God?
10A. God is everywhere.

Check out our little sponge:


For His Glory from Leslie Hale on Vimeo.

Pray with Us

Prayer for our girls

Lord, we pray that you would pardon and save Ava Grace and Edy Rose. Make them feel their sin as the heaviest burden in the world, as that which is most horrible in itself, and as that which has rendered them liable to your wrath and curse; God make them see that they are lost, and that there is nothing for them but everlasting punishment, unless they are pardoned by the blood of Christ, and sanctified by his Spirit.

Father, make them see the need that they have of Christ, and how all their hope and life is in him; make them see the vanity of this world and that all their happiness is with you in that everlasting life in heaven, where they may, with the saints and angels, behold his glory, and live in his love and be employed in his praises.Taken from The Reformed Pastor by Richard Baxter

Challenges

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp is a great book for parents. I like it because Tripp bases his principles on the scriptures. Scripture has to be our ultimate authority; if we aren't guided by God's Word then we are doing our children a huge disservice.
Lately, we have been going through some challenges with our little two year old. Trust me, it has been a trying time and frustrations have been at an all time high, but we are starting to see some positive changes across the board. It has been slow and gradual but consistency has been the key (a lot easier said than done).

 In order to be the parent I'm commissioned to be, I've had to examine my spiritual walk closely and I'm humbled. I have so many areas where I have failed to trust God and let Him lead. I can use a reality check periodically--Thank you, Lord.

We will never master this parenting gig--no one will. Thankfully, we have God to lead, guide, and direct us through it all.

So worth it!