Easter through the Years

Easter Through the Years...
2008: AG's first Easter 2009: I couldn't find a picture of our family for 2009, but I did find a pic of Graham with AG and me with AG. 2010: Edy's first Easter and our last Easter in Arkansas 2011: I suffered a miscarriage the day before Easter and was sad, but we had a wonderful Easter celebration with our church family and I was filled with joy!  Amazingly, it remains one of my favorite Easters to date. 2012: We had been trying for over a year to conceive and still had six or more months before we would finally get the good news we had been hoping and praying for! 2013: One of our final family pics before Joy's arrival--she arrived five weeks later! 2014: Joy's first Easter!

What {not} to Say

I just read a fantastic article over at Rage Against the Minivan that I just have to share.

Ever wondered what {not} to say to your friend struggling with infertility?  Here's the article for you!

Although we struggled with secondary infertility and our journey was a lot shorter than most, it was still hard nonetheless.  Check out our story, HERE.  There weren't a lot of people that knew about our situation (until my public post), but most of the ones that knew were very considerate.  But...I can tell you that we (mostly me) got just about every "what not to say" comment in the book.   The hardest comments for me were the ones pertaining to the fact that we already have children.  People just didn't understand why we would want to subject ourselves to the pain of infertility if we'd already been blessed to conceive and birth two healthy kiddos easily.


*Don't even get me started about the comments I got after my miscarriage.  My silent thoughts: I'm a Christian and I am totally aware of and affirm God's complete sovereignty.  I don't need to be reminded of it during this trial.  Just to be clear, God's sovereignty is very comforting, but it's not always a  needed response when someone is hurting.

Anyway, the guest blogger over at RATM says it better than me so go read the post and let me know what you think!  Oh, and pass it along!

little walk down memory lane...

Two years ago--the day before Easter, we sadly suffered a miscarriage.  Although it was a really hard time in our lives, I remember being filled with so much joy on Resurrection Sunday.  The undeniable fact that our Heavenly Father is our Comforter, Healer, Protector, Sustainer, Deliverer, Provider...could not escape me even in my pain.

{2011}
It was a really good day.

{2012}

Last year, I looked at this pic of our family several times and prayed...Father, if my family never grows beyond these four members, I will continue to give You all the honor and praise.  

{2013}

And this year...all five of us (just 5 weeks until Joy's due date). I'm thankful and humbled that God granted me my request.

11 to go...?

Yesterday, a friend asked me how far along I am and I couldn't remember.  I went blank.  I had to go to my pregnancy app to find out.  That is so unlike me, but I seem to be forgetting a lot of things these days. 

So...I'm 28 weeks.  Since I'm a planned c-section, I have 11 weeks to go.  Just 11 short weeks until we have another little babe. 

There's not much to tell since my last update a few days ago.  If you missed it, you can check it out HERE. 

Graham took this pic of me today--there's the baby belly some of you have been requesting to see.  I'm excited for my upcoming maternity photo session.  I've never had maternity shots and I am so glad that my talented friend is going to capture this pregnancy for us.  It was a long road to get here and may be the last pregnancy of mine left to capture--only God knows.

I just finished reading the post I wrote when I was 28 weeks along with Edy.  You can check it out HERE.  I am feeling about the same as I was then:  ready to clean, declutter, get a move on the nursery, I've gained the same amount of weight, and I'm feeling pretty good these days...other than some lower-back pain.  Can't complain.

Thanks for your continued prayers for our little Joy.

Overjoyed

coming just in time for flip-flop season

Overjoyed.

EXCITED, SHOCKED, STUNNED, ANXIOUS, BLESSED....THANKFUL. That doesn't even halfway describe how we feel.  We are overjoyed that the Lord has chosen to bless us with another child.

As I was writing our story several weeks ago, I was completely unaware that I was already carrying a new life.  Wow!  I had contemplated writing that particular post for several months, finally got the courage to put my words to writing, and little did I know that the Lord had already answered our prayer.  Again...overjoyed!

Here's our prayer which is similar to what Hannah prayed in 1 Samuel 1:27-28:

We prayed for this child, and the LORD has given us what we've requested.   So now we give this precious baby to the LORD. For his/her whole life he/she will be given over to the LORD.  We give our Father all the honor, glory, and praise!

{Our Joy...His Glory}

Please praise Him with us!

Our Story

I've debated (over the past 18 months) on whether or not to write this post.  I've started it several times, but stopped for fear of judgment, criticism, people feeling "sorry for me", etc.  Other ideas that have run through my head: it's the Internet, it's too personal, why bother.

Trust me, there are many other reasons why I have battled over telling this particular story, but today (actually over the course of several weeks), I just decided to write it...document it...get it out.  I've never been one to be shy about sharing my feelings,  but I'm also cautious about how I should word certain things.  I won't be telling every detail--I'll just give an overview.  Hopefully, there will be some who will understand and pray for us.  There may even be some who can relate.

Here goes *deep breath*:

Some of my readers may remember that in April of 2011, we suffered a miscarriage.  We were sad, but we got through it.  God gave me the joy that only He can give.  I was unhappy, but my joy was abundant.  Does that make sense?  "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10--this was very true for me.

Here's a little piece of info that is totally relevant to our story, but may seem like TMI: We were blessed to conceive very quickly with our two daughters and the baby we miscarried.  After the miscarriage, we were ready to try again.  We got the 'okay' from the doctor and that is just the beginning of our story.  Here we are, 18 months later.

So....18 months.  That's not that long.  I am well aware that there are countless people that have had to go through this for much, much longer.  I know that it must be even more devastating for those that don't even have children yet.  I get it.

18 months--it's not that long unless you are the one getting the 'negative' answer each and every month:
negative. negative .negative. negative. negative .negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative.
That's eighteen for those of you counting.

And I'm sure that there are some who will wonder things like this:  You already have two children, can't you just be happy with that?  Trust me, I thank the Lord for those two little girls every single day (not an exaggeration). They are such an apparent blessing in our lives.  We adore them with all of our hearts.  If we only have those two little girls, we will praise Him.

We would love another child or more children.  We desire more children.  We long for more kids.  How great are children!  They are such a blessing and we love teaching them about our Lord and Savior.  We love sharing our lives with them.

I'm told I'm not an anomaly.  Apparently, it's not uncommon to suffer infertility after having children or even conceiving so quickly. For the past few months, we have been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist.   Every single, solitary test I've undergone has had a positive result.  I'm taking a common fertility drug right now, but we are unsure of what we will do next.  We are prayfully considering our options.

God has a plan for us.  It may involve more children.  It may not.  We are seeking his wisdom in our decision making and praying that He would give us another child.  We are surrendered to His will for our family.  God is growing me closer and closer to Him.  It's wonderful and I still have that joy I talked about earlier.  I'm so thankful that I have Him!  In the future, I hope to share some of the things He has taught me. For now, this is about all I have the strength to write.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice."  Philippians 4:4

(commentary for Philippians 4:4 verse)

**update: Shortly after publishing this post, we found out the wonderful news that we were expecting.  We had some hiccups in the beginning of our pregnancy that landed us back in the doctor's office with the "threatened miscarriage" diagnosis.  On May 6, 2013 our Joy Tatum was born--happy and healthy!  Our Joy...His Glory!