Our Story

I've debated (over the past 18 months) on whether or not to write this post.  I've started it several times, but stopped for fear of judgment, criticism, people feeling "sorry for me", etc.  Other ideas that have run through my head: it's the Internet, it's too personal, why bother.

Trust me, there are many other reasons why I have battled over telling this particular story, but today (actually over the course of several weeks), I just decided to write it...document it...get it out.  I've never been one to be shy about sharing my feelings,  but I'm also cautious about how I should word certain things.  I won't be telling every detail--I'll just give an overview.  Hopefully, there will be some who will understand and pray for us.  There may even be some who can relate.

Here goes *deep breath*:

Some of my readers may remember that in April of 2011, we suffered a miscarriage.  We were sad, but we got through it.  God gave me the joy that only He can give.  I was unhappy, but my joy was abundant.  Does that make sense?  "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10--this was very true for me.

Here's a little piece of info that is totally relevant to our story, but may seem like TMI: We were blessed to conceive very quickly with our two daughters and the baby we miscarried.  After the miscarriage, we were ready to try again.  We got the 'okay' from the doctor and that is just the beginning of our story.  Here we are, 18 months later.

So....18 months.  That's not that long.  I am well aware that there are countless people that have had to go through this for much, much longer.  I know that it must be even more devastating for those that don't even have children yet.  I get it.

18 months--it's not that long unless you are the one getting the 'negative' answer each and every month:
negative. negative .negative. negative. negative .negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative. negative.
That's eighteen for those of you counting.

And I'm sure that there are some who will wonder things like this:  You already have two children, can't you just be happy with that?  Trust me, I thank the Lord for those two little girls every single day (not an exaggeration). They are such an apparent blessing in our lives.  We adore them with all of our hearts.  If we only have those two little girls, we will praise Him.

We would love another child or more children.  We desire more children.  We long for more kids.  How great are children!  They are such a blessing and we love teaching them about our Lord and Savior.  We love sharing our lives with them.

I'm told I'm not an anomaly.  Apparently, it's not uncommon to suffer infertility after having children or even conceiving so quickly. For the past few months, we have been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist.   Every single, solitary test I've undergone has had a positive result.  I'm taking a common fertility drug right now, but we are unsure of what we will do next.  We are prayfully considering our options.

God has a plan for us.  It may involve more children.  It may not.  We are seeking his wisdom in our decision making and praying that He would give us another child.  We are surrendered to His will for our family.  God is growing me closer and closer to Him.  It's wonderful and I still have that joy I talked about earlier.  I'm so thankful that I have Him!  In the future, I hope to share some of the things He has taught me. For now, this is about all I have the strength to write.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice."  Philippians 4:4

(commentary for Philippians 4:4 verse)

**update: Shortly after publishing this post, we found out the wonderful news that we were expecting.  We had some hiccups in the beginning of our pregnancy that landed us back in the doctor's office with the "threatened miscarriage" diagnosis.  On May 6, 2013 our Joy Tatum was born--happy and healthy!  Our Joy...His Glory!